We've spent April looking at goals, now let’s look at how your well-being can be enhanced by goals that are more intrinsic, personally meaningful and in harmony with the rest of your life. The key to this is understanding your needs so that you are able to articulate and meet them. To do this I use the Human Givens approach as a lens.
This approach works on the basis that there are a series of basic needs we as humans have and that must be satisfied for us to be truly happy and balanced, as follows:
We all have certain elements that are more important to us and working out which these are, making sure they are tended to and kept topped up is an important part of your ongoing self-care regime.
Completing an emotional needs audit is a good way of pin pointing areas that might be affecting you that need some work. It’s a simple exercise and doesn’t take long but can give you some insightful pointers as to where your self-development efforts might best be spent.
When I was introduced to this model it was life changing for me. As a type A personality with an achievement driver, I was pigeon holed by everyone I knew in to my happiness being linked to success and recognition, sometimes even status. But when I did achieve these things they still weren’t good enough for me and I was still not feeling happy or satisfied with my life - but couldn’t pin point why.
After doing the audit I realised that community, emotional intimacy and security were areas where I was lacking and were clearly important to me. But I had been neglecting them by concentrating on the areas I thought I valued most.
By not satisfying these needs I felt like I was failing, which was undermining my successes and further disappointing in the area of achievement - which is very important to me and drives me to better myself. In summary, very few of my needs were being met.
By realising this I had the opportunity to re-think what I wanted from my life, where I was placing my efforts and re-focus on the areas I needed to. It takes time and we are all a constant work in progress but the results were life changing for me and I have never looked back. When I am down or stressed out I re-take the audit and refresh myself with this simple model. Then I give myself some time to re-focus on any key areas that I have neglected.
This is just one of the tools a coach can help you use and activate to create goals that you can achieve and will enjoy when you have. Stay tuned to my Facebook or Insta feed this month for more tips on how to ensure your goals are intrinsic, fulfilling and more achievable than those you have set before.